Karma, a common sense point of view

It starts in my heart. A little flame. It grows. A fire, A burning, an inferno. It gets bigger with each word the person says. It never quells. It’s overtaking all my body. It’s trying to control me. I don’t know If I’ll resist.

You know I’m right, screams the fire
It doesn’t matter, I chose to let it go.
Fuck them.
If I let you, you will destroy everything.
But you know I’m right.
I can’t let that happen.

The fire calms down. I listen to the person in front of me. Maybe they’re right. I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt. Who knows? Maybe I really am an asshole.

Some context please?

It’s the beginning of 2024. I meet an old acquantance. I haven’t seen this person in decades. Yet in our first encounter, this person ignite that fire of hate in me. All of this in a few sentences. Here they are:

François, I met X. X is really sad that you don’t hang out anymore.

A little flame starts. But I stay polite:

I feel so bad for X, I’ve tried to organize something but it hasn’t happened
You should really do something for X

The flame becomes a fire, it’s starting to spread. But I stay polite and give more context:

I did. I contacted X several times, but X never answers
I know it’s difficult, but X was really sad. You should really do something.

The fire burns everywhere now. I use all my willpower and stay calm:

I’ve tried, but no responses. I don’t know what to do. Except kidnapping X 😊.

The joke calms down my nerve. A flash of water on the fire. Several buckets more of jokes could stop this fire.

I understand François, but X was REALLY sad. X had deep regrets and REALLY misses you. You should REALLY do something.

Everything is too hot now. We’re in the deepest pit of hell. The fire rages and overwhelms my whole body. It is tensing up.

From somewhere from far away, I hear a call. It’s coming from my inner sanctum. That sacred inner palace of consciousness where I can retire to and just observe whatever is happening both in me and out of me. The call comes at the right time… Because the insults were ready.

From the peace of my palace, I can now plainly see that the person in front of me doesn’t care at all about my opinion. Whatever I say doesn’t matter.

X succeeded. X implanted their perception of reality into the mind this person. All the facts don’t matter anymore, their perception is set and defined and will not be changed by anything I say.

This person only sees X’s perception of everything that happened. In that perception, I didn’t REALLY do anything.

Is that true?

I don’t know, it would depend on your perceptions of all the facts presented, how the facts are presented and what your belief/value system is.

From my point of view, I think I REALLY did something, I also think that I’ve REALLY done too much.

Is this going to be a long story?

No, I hesitated about putting the full story online. I decided to remove the specifics and go straight to the point.

Here’s the information you need to understand the rest of this article:

X and I were very close, but we were both too young and prideful. One of us changed drastically. This created an inevitable split. The split happened full of bitterness. We stopped talking to each. But we talked shit about each other to other people. Years passed, I got older, I let it go and actually realized that I was being stupid. I tried to reconnect with X several times. But X never answered. I guess we hurt each other too much. After years of trying, I gave up.

Any regrets?

Sure, being too prideful. I should have handled things with more class. But knowing who I was at that age, I don’t think I could have.

In a lot of ways, I think the change was too big. We couldn’t have stayed connected. From what I heard over the years, I don’t even think we could reconnect now. We’ve drifted too far apart.

Why write about this?

What you do in life matters and has an effect. I acted wrongly in my life and those decisions still affect me today. X is not the only one, I have a list of people that deeply hate me.

I feel lucky. I’ve had the chance to do some inner work. I’ve found a kind of peace.

This allowed me to affect people positively. For each negative story that come back to haunt me again, I probably have about 2 to 3 stories that are positive.

Here’s a concrete example that happened later that month:

I’m walking on the sidewalk with a mentor type of mine. Someone on a motorcycle stops by us and screams:

François ! So good to you see man ! It’s been a long time !
Oh hey, What’s up? So good to hear that. But-

The light turns green.

Sorry I have to go ! See you later, François

I had to admit it to mentor:

I have no idea who this person is.
Does this happen a lot?
At least once every three months. I have a bad memory for people.
That’s why you’re bad at networking, you can’t remember the people that love you and want what’s good for you.

Very wise words.

Right? And that’s exactly my point. I don’t remember this person. I don’t even think we were that close. Because this person never contacted me afterwards.

Still, at one point in my life, I shared a deep connection with that biker. I don’t remember it, but that biker did. And this memory means something positive to them.

If I die and come in front the scales of Anubis, I’m pretty sure that my positive impact would outweigh my negative impact in the life I’ve had.

But?

But I always wonder how far I should go to correct my negative actions.

Here’s what happened last month. I thought a lot about it and I took the decision: I’m going to try and contact X again.

And…

And?

AND !

Come on, say it !

Shouldn’t I create some anticipation? I mean-

Spill it out !

Nothing, X didn’t answers. I sent texts, emails, whatsapps, messengers and I called several times. But nothing, I didn’t receive any answers.

I became 35 in march and I invited X to my birthday party. At the party, I had this moment where I wasn’t consciously present with the guests. I was thinking so much about X that I wasn’t enjoying my time with the people who were REALLY there with me to celebrate me and my life.

So I stopped thinking about X. Additionally I had my subject for the April article 😊

Last words?

Enjoy NOW the time you have with the people you love and the people love you. Do it NOW ! You never know what will happen in the future. Thinking about it, I feel I should have enjoyed the time that I had with X.

Calls to actions?

Reread and apply the last paragraph to your life
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